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7月1日 Nine Words Women Use |
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Attract her silently
Can you woo her silently?
There’s more than one way to communicate, and experts will tell you the majority of human communication is expressed through our actions and expressions. If this is the case, wouldn’t it be reasonable to assume we could spark interest and attraction without the benefit of words? A picture is worth a thousand words, and so is a meaningful look or a significant gesture. While you will, of course, have to speak eventually, it isn’t essential that the launching pad consist of verbal interaction. Women are generally considered the more sensitive sex -- for better or for worse -- and therefore they’re more likely to notice the little things, things typical men might consider trivial or superfluous. Take advantage of this by making the silent approach a projection of your personality and desire with the absence of words. Your goal, of course, is to land an actual verbal flirting encounter.
The well-rounded Player should be capable of such a task, especially when the human psyche often generates a first impression before the first words are uttered. You should know how crucial a first impression is, and you’re virtually ensuring a great one if you can nail the silent approach. She’ll remember the way you looked at her and the way you looked when she first saw you. If done smoothly, it should work wonders.
Here are several tips to get you started, but remember: If this fails, a close, flirtatious encounter may be entirely out of the question.
Show similar interests through your actions
This will take some early observation coupled with a timely movement or gesture on your part. It’s easiest to explain through examples, so here’s one: Perhaps you’re in the supermarket and you’re both browsing through the produce. She’s selecting a cantaloupe and you “just happen” to reach for the same one at the same time (it’s not anywhere near as difficult as it sounds). Another example may take place at your home away from home: the bar or dance club. You’ve been keeping your eye on this hot little number three tables over and you notice she only orders one particular drink, giving you the perfect opportunity to purchase one and send it over. In turn, the door is opened to a “Hey, that’s your favorite drink, too?” sort of meeting. Birds of a feather!This could happen anywhere, at any time. Whether you’re out in the park jogging and you match her pace for a little while or you simply stop beside her to examine a store window on the sidewalk, relating to her without words can be a surprisingly straightforward process.
Prompt verbal contact with your eyes/actions
This goes well beyond a simple look; you’re seeking to grab her attention with a specific action. For instance, say you’re in a department store looking through a rack of shirts. You notice a particularly appealing target within the same vicinity so you get a bit closer, select a shirt and hold it up. Catch her eye and shoot her an inquisitive look as if to say, “How’s this?” Or perhaps you find yourself in an elevator, stuck behind one particularly rude individual who believes the entire world wants to hear his personal cell phone conversation. A shared rolling of the eyes is often enough to spark light banter before you depart the elevator, and provided you’ve properly honed your speed-flirting skills, you’re golden.By the way, this tip comes fully equipped with an added perk, one you’ve probably already surmised: You can easily gauge her interest by her reaction. The situation is almost irrelevant; if you attempt to share common ground with only a look, the results in her eyes and facial reaction should be clear.
Find out more ways to attract her without saying a word...
Attract Her Silently
Pickup Specialist - Every other Tuesday
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Opposites attract from a distance
Here you will present yourself as a polar opposite from afar. Now, it may sound bizarre and maybe even counterproductive, but when done properly, this technique works far better than you might expect. If your eyes have already crossed paths, you’ve probably sketched a rudimentary portrait of her personality based on her reaction (remember the previous hint?). Therefore, if she’s clearly the shy type and averts her eyes with a small smile, you come on strong from across the room with a big smile and direct eye contact. If she likes to play the role of the aggressor, you become the hard-to-get target and play it soft. Get it? The key to “talking with your eyes” centers on a person’s ability to blend facial expressions with eye movement. In other words, if she looks away with downcast eyes and a small grin, she’s playing shy and coy. If you keep a steady gaze and a larger smile, it’s obviously a more straightforward approach (just don’t stare like a nut).You could also implement an idea from the previous tip, which includes buying her a drink in a bar with the accompanying -- and appropriate -- look. In other situations, you might even be able to pick up her movie tickets for her while standing in line at the theatre -- a surprising and flattering move.
Offer to help in an appropriate situation
It’s the silent, yet gallant, approach that will open so many doors; in fact, you might start with that one: Simply open a door for a lovely lady. There are multiple opportunities to take advantage of the straightforward gentleman theory, and that includes helping a woman when she’s clearly loaded down with packages or bags, helping her pick up the purse she dropped (and the contents that spilled from it), etc. Don’t say a word; simply move to assist and you’ll immediately be in her good graces.Remember, though, we’re not advising you to create these opportunities. In the preceding example, for instance, don’t knock into her on purpose just for an excuse to help her retrieve the fallen items. Not only is it too transparent and even predictable, it’s also a little underhanded. For this tip, you simply need to be in the right place at the right time; don’t force the issue.
Dress to fit the occasion
When you know where you’re going and you know what type of woman you’re seeking, you can gain the upper hand by dressing appropriately… and alluringly. Women pay very close attention to the way a man dresses -- any successful Player knows this -- and you can get a foot in the door by selecting the best possible attire. If you’re looking for a higher class of female at a particularly elegant club, you’re going to have to dress it up beyond what is required.Women dress to attract males, and contrary to popular belief, the door does swing both ways. Besides, it’s yet another opening for conversation and a chance for you to comment on her outfit, which very rarely fails to impress if done correctly.
Lure her with an outside “cuteness factor”
If you’ve ever been to the park in search of a delectable target, you’ll know it’s best to go with a partner in crime… one who’s a great deal smaller. You may not have a baby or a dog close at hand, so if you don’t just borrow one for the day. Babysitting or pet-sitting -- it doesn’t matter because provided you head to the right locations, you’ll be in a prime position to hear a lot of “aww” and “isn’t he cute?!” comments.In one way, those compliments are indirectly aimed at you, as women instantly believe a man with either a child or pet is both sensitive and mature, capable of making (and upholding) important life decisions. Besides, without a woman holding your hand, they’ll also assume you’re a single parent -- or single pet owner -- and best of all, they will initiate contact. You just gotta play it up a bit by getting all mushy with your companion for the day. Sure, you may be risking some of those masculinity trophies you’ve acquired over the years, but it’s worth taking the chance.
actions speak louder
Ever wonder why there are so many jokes about bad pickup lines? It’s obviously because there are so many bad pickup lines. Despite the fact that much of human communication is done in a non-verbal capacity, saying the right thing to a woman remains pretty crucial. But you can remove some of the pressure simply by establishing an extraordinary positive rapport without even opening your mouth. The previous tips may sometimes rely on things you can’t control such as timing, the type of women in the vicinity and unique situational demands, but the foundation for each is solid. It’s not chivalrous to say you’re preying on a woman’s sensitivity, but it’s very honorable to say you’re simply speaking her language… without ever saying a single word.Back in Game!
Get Back In The Game
Relationship Correspondent - Every other Monday
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So, you've dumped her. Or she's dumped you. Either way, once you find yourself single, thoughts soon come around to meeting other women. But getting back in the game, especially after a long-term relationship, can be daunting.
The first steps back in the world of dating should not to be taken lightly. You shouldn't attempt to bed new women to take revenge on your ex, whether it's to lure her back with jealousy or as a way to get over her. You should do it because you're a single guy and that's what single guys do.
It goes without saying that you have to be completely over your ex before you get back into the game. Women will immediately pick up on it if you're using them to distract yourself or numb the pain. Exactly how long it will take to reach this stage varies: Some will find themselves cruising around the local pickup spots the very next weekend, while others may find it takes months before they can even look at another woman.
No matter what, it's worth the wait because the single life rules.
Cheer up then gear up
Approaching other women with all this going on is definitely a bad idea. Women can smell depression and desperation a mile off, and the scent is not appealing to them. You might think a one-night stand or even a new relationship is a good way to get over her, but the inevitable rejection will batter your confidence and make you feel 10 times worse.
Instead of dwelling on your ex and the relationship, remember the good side of being single: all those late nights with the boys, the freedom to do what you want when you want and, most importantly, with whom you want. When you stop thinking that there's something missing from your life and start to relish the idea of being single, then it's time to start bedding other women.
If you're honest, you’ll admit that there were times when you were with your ex that you envied those who were single. Well, start smiling again because now you're one of them...
Take a look around
Gather your friends. After listening to your moaning, they'll be almost as eager as you are for a big night out. Explain that, in one night, you aim to seek out everything that you couldn't do before. Take in a bar crawl, drop a few bets on the dogs and enjoy a strip club or two.
How to meet women in bars and other places...
The point isn't to hook up with women. We've already noted that desperation is a major turnoff. The night is for the boys doing boy things. It marks you stepping out of the world of relationships and being welcomed back as one of the guys, making a gradual re-entry in the life of the carefree, single guy.
Of course, if you find that women are approaching you, don't turn them away.
One of the major benefits of being single is the chance of an unexpected hookup. If you're happy being single, then the prospect of this increases greatly.
Change locales
Now that you've been reintroduced to single life, don't stick to your old haunts. The new you deserves new territory.There will be plenty of places, particularly bars, that your ex used to discourage you from going to; usually because that's where the hot, single women go to. Now you can stalk these hunting grounds with immunity.
Here you will be a fresh face, where no one knows the history of your failed relationship. The women there won't think of you as the ex of so-and-so, but as the new guy on the scene. These new locales are the perfect place to test out your new pickup skills.
Believe me: You'll need to learn new skills because the college-kegger tactics you last used won't work anymore. Check out The Player's Guide for detailed tips on how to make the most of single life.
Fill up your free time
Chances are you'll find yourself with more free time on your hands. A relationship takes a lot of time, and it's hard (not to mention unhealthy) to plug that gap with nothing but new bars and flutters at the track.But even this can be beneficial to the newly single man. Your ex did the cooking? Then take up a cooking class. Here, you’ll fill your immediate need of edible food, gain access to new women in a nontraditional hookup environment (where their defenses are down), and add “the home-cooked meal” to your dating repertoire.
Plenty of activities serve the dual purpose of filling spare time and getting you back in the game. Coed sports, the gym, art classes, and singles holidays are great starting ideas.
the new hit single
The transition from being in a relationship to being single can be hard. But don't worry: It's all for the best. There are thousands of women out there just waiting to be bedded by you. So what are you waiting for?Ways to make her want u???
Number 10
Become the high-status man
There are many logical reasons why women are attracted to high-status men, but the fact is that it’s TRUE and it’s not going to CHANGE anytime soon. If a woman perceives you as holding a higher status than her, you instantly qualify for the I’ll-consider-it group in her mind. If a woman perceives you as holding a LOWER status than her, she will instantly and unconsciously put you in the not-a-chance mental category. And if you communicate your status in just the right way, you can trigger a powerful and instantaneous attraction inside of a woman that will be impossible for her to ignore. She’ll FEEL IT. Luckily, this is something ANY guy can do.Number 9
Communicate high status properly
The great news is that you can communicate high status even if you’re not good-looking, rich or famous. The first thing you need to do is STOP communicating LOWER status. Men typically communicate lower status by justifying, defending or explaining themselves. By seeking approval and by allowing things to affect them emotionally these men are portraying themselves a weak and in the lower status department. Stop doing these things immediately. Resist the temptation to explain yourself, be the center of your own universe and keep your cool. If you do, you’ll make HUGE headway in becoming the high-status guy women can’t get enough of.Number 8
Never communicate low status
The ultimate mistake you can make when it comes to status -- and the one guys make over and over again -- is trying to trade your status for her APPROVAL. I call this becoming a WUSSY just to get a woman to like you. This one single thing you may do and it will almost GUARANTEE that she will NEVER feel a gut-level attraction for you. It’s so obvious and so pervasive that it’s almost invisible. This is the ultimate mistake men make with women. Whatever you do, never communicate lower status to try to get a woman to like you. It never, ever works.Stop putting yourself down and let her chase you..
Number 7
Let her chase you
When most guys meet an attractive woman, they think about things completely BACKWARD. They usually decide quickly that she is what they want, so they pursue which causes her to run away, which leads them wanting her more. BAD NEWS. Instead, try flipping this whole scenario on its head. The next time you meet a woman you’re hot for, instead of deciding SHE is what YOU want, take the perspective that YOU are the kind of guy SHE wants. Then when she starts to pursue you, run away. It’ll make her want you that much more. When you realize the steps that women use to attract us guys, you can use these same steps to attract THEM. Nice.Number 6
Stop devaluing yourself
Humans have a hardwired system for assigning value in our heads. If something is easy to get, we don’t think it has much value, but when it’s hard to get we naturally assume it must be VERY valuable. If you want to DROP your value to zero instantly in a woman’s eyes, all you have to do is make yourself easy to get a hold of -- be readily available and obviously very interested. On the other hand, if you want to INCREASE your value in a big way, you need to do the opposite. Make yourself busy so you’re difficult to get a hold of, and when you do talk to a woman, make sure you get off the phone and go do something interesting and make sure you tell her about the activity right before you say, “Gotta go, bye!” Make sure you have all kinds of other options going on in your life so you CAN’T become too available.Number 5
Tell her she’d make an interesting friend
If a woman uses the phrase, “He’s just a friend,” what she typically means is that the guy is interested in her but doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of having a romantic relationship with her. So turn the tables. If you are talking to a woman and you can tell she’s starting to feel for you, say to her: “You know, I think you’re going to make an interesting friend.” Women RARELY -- IF EVER -- hear this from a man. It will set you up as a challenge in her mind and cause her to be MORE LIKELY to want to be with you in a romantic way.Number 4
Become friends with attractive women
If you’re going out to meet women, is it better to be rolling with two horny guy friends or is it better to be rolling with two attractive female friends who love you? Exactly. Making friends, ACTUAL FRIENDS, with several attractive women is one of the best strategies for consistently meeting women without having to deal with any kind of anxiety over approaching women. When I say make friends with these women, I mean ACTUALLY make friends. It’s fine to flirt, tease and have fun with them, but they are going to be your friends so it’s best to keep your grubby mitts off of them. Keep these friendships intact and they’ll introduce you to TONS of available women. They’ll literally BRING THEM TO YOU.The top three ways to make her want you
Make her want you
Number 3
Show her that you’d make a great sexual partner
Animals have certain traits (like the male peacock’s giant tail feathers) that signal to females who will make a healthy mate. These signals are difficult to fake (you either have the feathers or you don’t), so females rely on them heavily when deciding who to mate with. Female humans also look for these “honest signals,” and lucky for us they can be learned (unlike the feathers). Focus on developing these honest signals like dominant posture, slow gestures and movement, strong eye contact, indifference, and cocky comedy. When you master these signals, women will have NO CHOICE but to take notice of you.Number 2
Learn to tell if a woman is single quickly
Ever wonder if an attractive woman is single? If you develop the ability to be good at “reading” whether a woman is single or not, you’ll be able to behave with her right from the start in a confident, knowing way. And you’ll also stop taking it personally and getting hung up on women who seem cold to you because you’ll know WHY they seem occupied. To figure out if a woman is available or not start teasing her, if she continues to spar with you as you bust her balls, it’s usually a big signal that she’s available and open to you. Practice guessing if a woman is single or not until you can tell quickly and accurately. When you do, it will blow her mind that you knew her relationship status without her saying a word about it. She’ll see you as an insightful, intuitive guy -- precisely the kind of guy she’s attracted to.Number 1
Create abundant choices for yourself
When you make a decision there’s a big difference between deciding whether or not to take the ONE option available, and trying to choose between an ABUNDANCE of options. Most guys have the mindset, “It’s either her, or nothing.” Most women have the mindset, “I can have any guy I want, so which one do I like best?” Take a moment and think about the subtle differences in your thinking, communicating and acting when you have MANY choices and you need to conserve your time, as opposed to having just one choice and having to figure out how to get it. Learn to think and behave as if you have all the choices in the world, then work on making that a REALITY by continually educating yourself on how to succeed with women and dating.Way to get her to chase u
Techniques to make her chase you
This article is sponsored in part by DoubleYourDating.com (What's this?)
Most men naturally assume that it’s the MAN who must pursue the woman. But guys who are naturals at succeeding with women don’t buy into this belief -- and it’s a big part of why they’re always with the most attractive women. What would your life be like if instead of chasing women, women chased you? Here are 10 tips to shift the dynamic in your favor and get women tripping over themselves for a space on your social calendar.
Number 10
Use “reverse rapport”
“Reverse rapport” is when you say and do the opposite of what a guy would do when he’s trying to make a woman like him… but in a sarcastic, overly serious way that assumes the woman already knows, likes and trusts you. The objective here is NOT to try to be sweet and wonderful and nice in order to win her approval. How do you do this? Well, one way is to use a sarcastic comment that’s the OPPOSITE of what a woman wants to hear. Or answer a question a woman asks you with an answer that’s the opposite of what she expects, all in a very sarcastic tone that implies you’re making fun of her. When you do, you’ll create a deep, polarity-charged connection with her that will get her pursuing you in no time flat.Number 9
Read between the lines
If you’re talking to a woman on the phone and she tells you that she’s seeing someone, understand that she’s saying this more for herself than for you. She probably is casually dating another guy, but she’s feeling attracted to you, so she needs to say this to put on the brakes so she doesn’t feel “promiscuous.” If you find yourself in this situation, tell her something challenging like “Yeah, congratulations… and you know, that’s pretty assumptive thinking that I was trying to pursue you.” She won’t know what to say, and you will have communicated that you’re a confident guy who doesn’t need any woman -- just the kind of guy women LOVE. Don’t be surprised if she calls you back within a week, telling you she wants to get together and that she’s suddenly dumped the guy she was dating (for a chance to get to know you, of course).Number 8
See beyond getting laid
When I first started learning how to succeed with women and dating, the idea of getting laid was a lot more interesting to me than it is now because I thought that if you could learn how to “get laid” then you’d naturally be able to have any other kind of success you wanted with women. Well, many of the guys I’ve met who are GREAT at “getting laid” don’t have any idea how to find a high-quality woman to have a great relationship with and when they do find one, they have no idea how to keep her around. I think it’s much more interesting and useful to learn how and why women become attracted to men, and why they STAY attracted. This way, you’ll be able to keep that fantastic woman in your life once you find her. There’s nothing wrong with “getting laid,” but it’s only a tiny piece of the puzzle, and it alone won’t lead you to happiness and success in life.
More tips to keep her interested
Number 7
Stop courting, start attracting
There are two basic models for how men approach meeting women: the courtship model, and the attraction model. If you base your approach with women on ATTRACTION, you get a very different response from COURTING them. When you court a woman, her natural response is to run, which makes you want her more and makes her run more. But when you attract a woman, her natural response is to chase YOU. This subtlety makes all the difference in the world.
Number 6
Be the dominant one
Courting is based on what you DO, what you OFFER, and what you GIVE… and is largely based on gifts, dinners, flowers, compliments, etc. Attraction is based on how you communicate, who you are and your masculine identity. Courting takes the “make friends” strategy and supersizes it; it’s about being as nice as possible in order to get her to like you. Attraction isn’t concerned with “liking” because a woman doesn’t need to like you in order to feel attracted to you. Courting is facing the challenge; attraction is BEING the challenge. Courting is about being a follower, submissive and weak; attraction is about being a leader, dominant and strong. Stop courting, start attracting, and you won’t BELIEVE how it can transform your success with women.
Number 5
Show her you get it
Women will act completely different around you and treat you very differently if you’re a guy who “gets it.” The way to show her you’re one of these rare guys is to see when she’s testing you and keep your cool. So if she mentions that other men are interested in her or she says she’s unavailable or she complains about something you do, realize it’s just a test. Then simply say, “Hey, stop that stuff,” and she’ll know what you mean. More importantly, she’ll know she’s dealing with a real man, and she’ll stop at no expense to chase you down.
Number 4
Stay on your own course
Most men orient themselves by following and seeking approval of the woman. She leads, they follow; in fact, she isn’t even leading, but the man tries to convince her to lead with questions and body language that seek approval. This is a horrible mistake, and annoys women to no end. Instead, stay on your course, even when she’s all over the map. Let her reorient her body, behavior, moods, and responses to YOURS. Don’t ever try to get her to lead. Show her you’re the kind of man who loves to be the captain of your own ship, and she’ll feel an undeniable attraction to you.
The top three ways to get her knocking at your door…
Number 3
Never backpedal or explain yourself
If you say or do something that seems to upset a woman, don’t try to explain your way out of it or do something to “make her feel better.” Don’t act like you screwed up or show her that you’re nervous just because she’s acting upset. Just move on as if nothing happened. Get right on to the next topic or story. If she stays on it, whines or complains, just say “Get over it, it was a joke, stop being a pain,” and then get on to the next topic again. If you try to backpedal or explain yourself or in any way hint that you think you’ve “screwed up,” you’re DEAD MEAT. If you say something and she doesn’t like it, that’s not YOUR problem. Women often complain to see if they can manipulate you with their emotions, and when you show you don’t fall for this, her respect and ATTRACTION for you will go through the roof.
Number 2
Hint that you’re normal
There are a lot of psycho, perverted and “mentally unstable” guys out there, so it’s important you communicate through your behavior that you’re NOT one of them. Tell a woman you’re busy, and get off the phone WITHOUT asking her to meet for a date. Make fun of dumb-ass behavior, and other guys who act like wussies. If she calls but doesn’t leave a message, accuse her of being a stalker, and tell her that normal people leave messages. Chase women out of your house; say “get out” over and over again if she’s kissing you. All of this gives her subtle signs that you’re not some freak who desperately wants to get in her pants. This will give her an irresistible craving to get to know you better because you’re so different from the typical needy guys she dates.
Number 1
Use her own games on her
We all know women love playing games. But when you turn the tables and play games on a woman, it shifts the power dynamic in your favor. One of my favorite games to play with women is “You’re a brat, and I’m fake exasperated.” That’s pretty self-explanatory. Some others are “Let’s see who can act the least interested,” and “I’m hard to get, and you love me.” Have fun playing these games with a woman and you’ll soon find that she won’t be able to get enough of your challenging, confident personality.
10 Things She Learns From Adult Movies
10 Things She Learns From Adult Movies
Women's magazines slip us the kind of information that we
wouldn't find elsewhere; they reveal a female perspective that most men just
aren't privy to. How they read into our behavior, how they perceive our
actions, what their true expectations are... there's plenty to be learned from
a glimpse into the other side.
AskMen.com will be providing you with just this kind of gender intelligence --
without the embarrassment that comes with retrieving it from your girlfriend's
magazine rack. We'll be publishing a series of features from iVillage.com;
articles originally written by women for women, but with insight that's invaluable
to men. Of course, in exchange, we had to offer up some intelligence of our
own... all the more reason for you to get on the inside track as soon as you
can.
x-rated education
Think your girl is disgusted by porn? Think again. iVillage.com lets AskMen.com readers in on a dirty little secret: Some women find a certain appeal in the strong, confident female porn star. And since every woman wants to be confident in the bedroom, here are 10 things your gal pal can gain from observing your favorite X-rated actress.
porn star secrets
Whether you hate that your guy watches porn or opt to watch it with him, you always wonder about one thing: the mystique of the porn star. She's everything a good girl doesn't want to be -- except in the bedroom. Wish you could mesmerize your man like his favorite video vixen? Brenda Della Casa, author of Cinderella Was a Liar, has compiled a cheat sheet of porn babes' best-kept secrets. Once you know what they know, you can try the tricks at home -- no over-processed hair or camcorder required. Your man will be putty in your hands, but the biggest payoff? You will end up more satisfied in the process.
1- Show a little enthusiasm
Good-girl approach: Many of us have been taught that
sex is not a high priority, so when your guy wants to do the horizontal tango,
you make excuses or treat it like another chore on your to-do list.
Porn-babe secret: They enjoy what feels good without reservation -- and
they show their partners how excited they are by engaging them with their speech
and movements. They understand that diving into the sack with someone who isn't
into it is like sharing a "romantic" meal with someone who's watching
television.
Tantalizing tip: Take the initiative! Wake him up with a below-the-belt
kiss. Send him a naughty text message midway through the day. In bed, get into
the moment by looking into his eyes and telling him how eager you are to be
with him.
2- Speak up
Good-girl approach: Your sack sessions hardly leave
you invigorated, but you're scared that any attempt to spice things up will
make you seem like a tramp.
Porn-babe secret: Toss the dated worries -- liking sex doesn't make you
a hussy; it makes you human. Tell him how much you enjoy it when he kisses that
special spot or mention something you're craving in the heat of the moment.
Just asking for something new can be a huge turn-on for both partners.
She can learn to love her body and how to spice up dirty talk…
Tantalizing tip: Pop open a bottle of wine and initiate a little game of truth-or-dare. Or surprise him with a spicy flick and point out the scenes you'd be open to trying. There's a good chance he'd like to experiment, too, but is keeping it to himself because he doesn't want to offend you.
3- Love those thighs
Good-girl approach: You hate your hips, your backside
is less than baby-smooth, blah, blah, blah.
Porn-babe secret: They know that men love sex -- he's absolutely
thrilled when your thighs are wrapped around him, dimples and all. He would
never forgo what feels good to accommodate something as silly as a body
insecurity or two.
Tantalizing tip: Illuminate the bedroom, living room or even kitchen
with candles, which give a soft glow that glides over perceived imperfections.
Give him the visualization he craves and get off (pun intended) on the fact
that you are the reason for every moan and squirm your man makes.
4- Know thyself
Good-girl approach: You find masturbation
embarrassing or shameful, so you rarely try it (and never admit to it when you
do).
Porn-babe secret: Make like a seasoned porn babe and figure out what
works for you by caressing your thighs, breasts and everything in between. Not
knowing what feels good is like taking a cross-country road trip without a map.
Tantalizing tip: If you're like many gals and the manual approach leaves
you feeling less than thrilled, simply find something else to tickle your fancy.
After a few solo sessions, bring your man into the action for a steamy
one-on-one lesson.
5- Get a new bedtime script
Good-girl approach: Your pillow talk doesn't get much
racier than a few "oh, baby's” tossed in with a few "you feel so
good's."
Porn-babe secret: Men are competitive by nature, and they love to know
they are the best at whatever it is they're doing, including you. Porn babes
know that just hearing a female verbally tap into the action is enough to make
him explode.
Tantalizing tip: Get comfy with the saucy talk by writing down some sexy
thoughts and reading them out loud alone a few times. In bed, start small by
giving him a play-by-play of the action, telling him what he's doing to you or
asking questions such as, "Do you like it when I [insert verb here]
you?"
The importance of sexy underwear and learning to fantasize…
6- Get a little uncomfortable
Good-girl approach: Your weekend look of sweats and
ponytails has become as fun as your weekly date with the treadmill. Sound
exciting? Yeah, we didn't think so.
Porn-babe secret: Men are visual creatures (that's why porn babes are in
business). These gals work this to their advantage and don sexy lingerie and
even (gulp!) keep their heels on during the deed, all to enhance the
experience.
Tantalizing tip: Slip on a thong underneath your yoga pants or meet him
at home in nothing but heels and a great hairdo. Surprising him with something
new will show him that he's worth the effort, which will spark his heart as
well as his, um, interest.
7- Come on, gals -- fantasize
Good-girl approach: You'd never admit to daydreaming
about being intimate with two men or kissing another woman, even if you do --
and the thought of your man having a sex dream about Heidi Klum in bed is
enough to bring you to tears.
Porn-babe secret: They do things most of us wouldn't, but the lesson is in
their approach, not in their actions. They don't judge the desires of their
partners or take offense at what turns them on. Just because your guy
fantasizes about a threesome doesn't mean he doesn't love you or even that he
would want to participate in one in real life. As long as the boundaries of
your relationship are maintained, fantasizing is a healthy aspect of sexuality.
Tantalizing tip: Try verbal exploration. Talk him through a threesome or
ask him to pretend he's a stranger. Sharing these kinds of experiences will not
only spark amazing sex, but it will also build trust and intimacy, which is
always sexy. Discuss boundaries beforehand (some couples have a code word to
signal the other to stop when acting out scenarios) and remember: Comfort is
key, so don't participate in anything that makes you uncomfortable.
8- Get creative with the merchandise
Good-girl approach: You have an idea of what works
for your guy, which is why you do it again and again and…
Porn-babe secret: They know their partner has dozens of hot buttons --
from his toes to the back of his neck -- and that half the fun is finding out
what works and what doesn't.
Get her to be like Jenna Jameson in the bedroom...
Tantalizing tip: Gently pinch or bite his nipples or kiss his chest and stroke his stomach gently with your nails. When you go below the belt, pay attention to all parts of the package by gently tracing his scrotum with your tongue or pressing on his perineum (the area between his penis and his anus).
9- Be a little selfish
Good-girl approach: You're tired and overworked, and
you haven't been to the gym in ages. You'd love to get your hair done and take
that spinning class, but you promised you'd run errands for your sister
(again).
Porn-babe secret: While good girls are taught to deprive themselves, porn
babes make self-maintenance a high priority.
Tantalizing tip: Whether it's a manicure, a blowout or just slathering
on a luxurious cream before bed, do something that makes you feel and look good
more than once a month. Feeling like you're worth the splurge will not only
boost your confidence, it will make you glow -- and that's hotter than any
bustier on the market.
10- Stop doing favors
Good-girl approach: You perform oral sex as a
"gift" for whatever special day or tell him that if he's good, you'll
let him try a new position.
Porn-babe secret: Sexual desire is not a male-specific attribute, nor is it
something that should be rationed. In fact, it's practically as essential to a
full life as food, water and shelter. Porn babes do things they know their
partner will enjoy, while asking for what they want in return.
Tantalizing tip: No one wants to feel like they are being manipulated or
treated like a charity case, so keep the bureaucracy out of the bedroom. Find
out what your partner likes, and as long as you are comfortable with it, give
it to him generously. The only "requirement" you should have is that
he reciprocate on the same level. His taking out the trash isn't a reason to
give him a bl*w job -- your turning him on is.
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