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7月1日

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE (1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2)
Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an
hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given
five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means
something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with
nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5)
Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal
statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you
are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of
nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a
women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and
hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7)
Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just
say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true,
unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not
thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a
'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9)
Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement,
meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several
times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man
asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true!!!
5月29日 Understanding Women's Mind Games"Do you think I look fat in this dress?" When
a woman asks you this, you're doomed. No matter what you say, it will
be the wrong answer. She already knows she looks fat or she wouldn't be
asking you the question in the first place. But if you fib and tell her So why do women indulge in these silly mind games? Well,
for one thing, they're women. And women think and react with their
emotions -- at least more than men do, in general. But it's really
about testing us. And tests are ultimately all about control of the
relationship. The typical guy is usually clueless about the
mind games women play. But play them they will, so you'd better be
aware of what's going on. Let's take a look at three different
stages -- Meeting, Dating and Relationship -- to see what kinds of
games the typical female plays. 1- The Meeting StageSexy clothesShe wears provocative clothing and then gets mad when you check her out ("My eyes are up here ..."). What's her mind game?:
No logic here at all -- of course men are going to look and she knows
it. And when they do, she castigates them for their normal and natural
interest. Shallow initial contactShe'll come on to you, flirt, even act sexually suggestive with absolutely no intention of going on a date or getting involved. What's her mind game?: She wants to get a rise out of you to assure herself that she's still
attractive to the men. Surprisingly, a lot of attached women play this game. No phone callShe'll give out her number with no intention of dating you. Or she'll take your number and never call you. What's her mind game?: This is another bid for power. She just wants to reassure herself that she can control men with her sexuality. Hard to getShe turns you down for a date or doesn't return your call, even if she's interested in going out with you. What's her mind game?:
Sometimes this is simply a power play and sometimes what she wants is
for you to chase her, to determine how desperate you are for sex. If
you bite, then she knows she's totally in control of the relationship
and you'll forever jump to the crack of her whip. On to the Dating Stage, where things can potentially get worse 2- The Dating StageBroken datesShe breaks your date at the last minute or doesn't show up at all without a word of apology. What's her mind game?:
She knows that the one being pursued controls the course of the
relationship and she wants to ensure that you dance to her tune early
on. Many women play this game to see how desperate a man is. If you roll over and puppy-dog it at this point, you might as well just put a collar around your neck. Waiting timeShe's late or not ready when you pick her up for a date. Furthermore, this is a recurring issue. What's her mind game?: She's trying to figure out how much she can get away with. She wants to be the one calling the shots;
she wants you to run after her and wonder if she's really interested in
you. Furthermore, if she makes you wait for her, she sends a clear
signal that she values her time more than she does yours. Expensive datesShe wants to go to the most expensive restaurant, the most exclusive club, the hottest play -- and expects you to fund the whole thing without a whimper. What's her mind game?:
She's aware that you know that if you don't fork over the cash, you
won't have a prayer of getting her into bed. To make matters worse, she
might even do this if she has unequivocally no intention of having sex
with you. Woe to you if you've already proven to her that you're
desperate for sex -- your credit card is going to be smoking. No sexShe gets you hot and bothered and then backs off, or otherwise restricts access to sex. What's her mind game?: This is a perfect example of manipulation
and exultation of her sexual power over you, plain and simple. She
might also play this game to extract more cash from your wallet (see
previous point). Serial flirtShe flirts with other men in front of you. What's her mind game?:
What she's doing is testing to see how interested you are and
underscoring the fact that she's sexually desirable to other men (so
you'd better toe the line). Inconsistent wantsShe
says one thing, then does another. For example, she'll tell you that it
doesn't matter where the two of you go or what you do, and then pout
all night when you make the "wrong" choice. What's her mind game?:
She wants to be the one finding faults with you, and not the other way
around. Of course, there's no way for you to know what the "right"
choices are. And for the finale, the games women play when you're settling in... 3- The Relationship StageSelfish waysShe acts any way she pleases to see if you'll tolerate her bad behavior or pushes you around to see if you'll stand up to her. What's her mind game?: She's testing to see how "much of a man" you are (how much control she has over you), as well as arming
herself with ammunition for future arguments, in case you get mad and fly into a rage. Mind readingShe
expects you to read her mind. This includes her sexual desires, her
favorite restaurants, what happened to her during the day, and every
other little trivial thing. What's her mind game?: She wants to see if you care. She wants to know that you understand her feelings and listen to her.
You are somehow supposed to magically guess exactly what she's
thinking, what she wants and how she wants it without her having to say
a word. When, naturally, you fail to "just know," she punishes you
(often by cutting off sex). Comparison to othersShe compares you to her friends' boyfriends. What's her mind game?: Women are always looking to feather their nests
-- if she finds a better deal, she'll toss you aside and move on to her next victim... uh, boyfriend. Crazy anticsShe throws tantrums and generally acts unpleasant and bitchy. What's her mind game?: She wants to know just how much crap you'll put up with. Inconsistent wantsShe indulges in contradictory thinking. She wants a manly man who takes charge, but who has metrosexual traits and loves watching romantic comedies. What's her mind game?:
She tells you that she wants you to show more emotion, but when you do,
she brands you as "weak." This is yet another example of her keeping
the upper hand in the relationship, by making you feel like she can be
the one dumping you if you're not exactly what she wants. get to workSo
what can you do about all this? First, make yourself aware of the
typical female mind games so that you can recognize them when they
happen. Then, refuse to tolerate them. As soon as one crops up, put
your foot down. Tell her you're not a game player and you're not going
to put up with any mind games from her. She
might not like it, and it may sound the death knell for the
relationship, but do you really have time to deal with this stuff? Your
goal should be to retain at least some semblance of control and aim
(hopefully) for a 50/50 partnership. Unfortunately, these mind
games are a reality. If women would learn to respect men and honestly
communicate instead of expecting us to guess what they're thinking or
manipulate us, this would be a much better dating world. But it's up to
us men to turn the situation around.. Matthew Fitzgerald is the author of Sex-Ploytation.
He has appeared on radio shows from coast-to-coast in the United States
and in Canada, and has been featured on the Montel show and The Other
Half.
1月8日 
Breakup laws to followBreakup
is not an easy task, especially when it involves leaving someone you
care about. Whether or not you've been in a relationship for one month
or 20 years, there is no easy way to call it quits. Many of us have
winged it, severing a relationship by simply falling off the face of
the planet or even changing a phone number or two. I wouldn’t recommend
either option; being a gentleman about the situation is crucial, and
being firm and definitive with your decision is a must during the
transition. Most of us have been dating for years, but not
many of us have mastered the art of breaking up. Making a clean break
with the least amount of resistance and resentment is the ultimate
objective. So, for those guys who are ready to call it off, but
struggle with the concept of approach, or if this is your first time
breaking up, here are some helpful breakup laws to help you through the
process. Plaintiff must not delay the inevitable The gist
of this breakup law is: Whether you love her or not, let her go if
you’re unhappy. Do not delay; act now. It won’t do either of you any
good to remain in a relationship
that clearly makes you unhappy. Remember: Discontentment within the
confines of a relationship is a clear indication that either party
involved is dissatisfied with the outcome of the union. Considering how
much time you’ve invested or worried about how much she’ll be affected
is a sure way to remain in a situation that is not obstructive to your
growth. Breaking the law: To remain or fall back into
the rut of a relationship that’s going nowhere can be harmful because
you’re wasting precious time and energy that could be spent with
someone more compatible with you. Plaintiff must terminate the relationship in person
Facial expressions add to the tone of your message, which will be
helpful when your objective is to get your point across without having
to go back and forth. This breakup law is important because breaking up
in person shows that you, at the very least, have respect for her
feelings, which makes for good closure on her part. Breaking the law: Choosing
to end a relationship over the phone or in an e-mail will definitely
make you appear insensitive or cowardly. Though it may not matter to
you at the time, your respect level will decrease immensely and will be
remembered should you find yourself running back to her at some point.
If you don’t follow this breakup law, you also risk not being taken
seriously and the ex may still see an opportunity to win you back through acts of affection. Following these breakup laws will make the process a little easier Pleading party must provide evidence of honesty and humility
Whatever you do, don’t say “It’s not you, it’s me” if you don’t really
mean it. Be honest and communicate some of the reasons the relationship
is no longer working for you. Keep in mind that it’s not necessary to
shoot the canary with a shotgun. Pointing fingers or placing blame
entirely on her is not the way to go; use this time as an opportunity
to admit to some of your shortcomings as well. Breaking the law: The
last thing you want is to make it appear as though you’re perfect and
showed nothing but love and affection for her. This is a sure way to
get her to resent you. Instead of promoting closure, you will only
evoke hatred and pain. Letting her know you’re aware of the mistakes
you’ve made can also make it easier for her to move forward without
feeling so much like a relationship failure. It might even be a good
idea to list some of the positive attributes about the relationship to
buffer the discomfort. Insinuation of potential for future partnership is prohibited Nothing can be more insensitive than insinuating that there is a possible future for reconciliation
if that isn’t something you desire. Refrain from using words like
“maybe” or “down the line.” Always use definitive wording that limits
her from reading between the lines or conceiving her own ideas of what
may happen later. Breaking the law: If you don’t
follow this breakup law, your soon-to-be ex will feel as though you are
simply going through a phase resulting from a bump in the head and that
you’ll come to your senses once you stop spinning. Her tactic would
then become fixing the things you were dissatisfied with in order to
keep you in the relationship. Opposing party must plead her case
Once you’ve made your case, it’s only fair that you remain open to
responding to questions she needs answered for closure’s sake. Besides,
owning up to mistakes
and being willing to hear her perspective on the relationship without
being defensive shows that you have compassion for how she’s feeling. Breaking the law: Being bull-headed and closed to hearing her side is extremely insensitive. Unless you are aiming to acquire a long list of enemies, listen to what she says. After all, it takes very little effort. keep it civil
These breakup laws will serve you well if your objective is to remain
respectful during the breakup process. Nine out of 10 breakups end
painfully for at least one party -- and most times it isn't the person
ending it. So, your best bet is to always take the gentleman’s way out. | Wow !

Last spring I was walking in a park. A short distance ahead of me was a mom and her three-year-old daughter. The little girl was holding on to a string that was attached to a helium balloon.
All of a sudden, a sharp gust of wind took the balloon from the little girl. I braced myself for some screaming and crying.
But, no! As the little girl turned to watch her balloon go skyward, she gleefully shouted out, Wow!
I didn't realize it at that moment, but that little girl taught me something.
Later that day, I received a phone call from a person with news of an unexpected problem. I felt like responding with Oh no, what should we do But remembering that little girl, I found myself saying, Wow, that's interesting! How can I help you
One thing's for sure - life's always going to keep us off balance with its unexpected problems. That's a given. What's not preordained is our response. We can choose to be frustrated or fascinated.
No matter what the situation, a fascinated Wow! will always beat a frustrated Oh, no.
So the next time you experience one of life's unexpected gusts, remember that little girl and make it a Wow! experience. The Wow! response always works. | 12月29日
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Wow
!

Last
spring I was walking in a park. A short distance ahead of me was a mom and her
three-year-old daughter. The little girl was holding on to a string that was
attached to a helium balloon.
All of a sudden, a sharp gust of wind took
the balloon from the little girl. I braced myself for some screaming and
crying.
But, no! As the little girl turned to watch her balloon go
skyward, she gleefully shouted out, Wow!
I didn't realize it at that
moment, but that little girl taught me something.
Later that day, I
received a phone call from a person with news of an unexpected problem. I felt
like responding with Oh no, what should we do But remembering that little girl,
I found myself saying, Wow, that's interesting! How can I help you
One
thing's for sure - life's always going to keep us off balance with its
unexpected problems. That's a given. What's not preordained is our response. We
can choose to be frustrated or fascinated.
No matter what the situation,
a fascinated Wow! will always beat a frustrated Oh, no.
So the next time
you experience one of life's unexpected gusts, remember that little girl and
make it a Wow! experience. The Wow! response always
works. | 7月20日 Can you woo her silently?There’s more than one way to communicate, and experts will tell you the majority of human communication is expressed through our actions and expressions. If this is the case, wouldn’t it be reasonable to assume we could spark interest and attraction without the benefit of words? A picture is worth a thousand words, and so is a meaningful look or a significant gesture. While you will, of course, have to speak eventually, it isn’t essential that the launching pad consist of verbal interaction. Women are generally considered the more sensitive sex -- for better or for worse -- and therefore they’re more likely to notice the little things, things typical men might consider trivial or superfluous. Take advantage of this by making the silent approach a projection of your personality and desire with the absence of words. Your goal, of course, is to land an actual verbal flirting encounter. The well-rounded Player should be capable of such a task, especially when the human psyche often generates a first impression before the first words are uttered. You should know how crucial a first impression is, and you’re virtually ensuring a great one if you can nail the silent approach. She’ll remember the way you looked at her and the way you looked when she first saw you. If done smoothly, it should work wonders. Here are several tips to get you started, but remember: If this fails, a close, flirtatious encounter may be entirely out of the question.
Show similar interests through your actionsThis will take some early observation coupled with a timely movement or gesture on your part. It’s easiest to explain through examples, so here’s one: Perhaps you’re in the supermarket and you’re both browsing through the produce. She’s selecting a cantaloupe and you “just happen” to reach for the same one at the same time (it’s not anywhere near as difficult as it sounds). Another example may take place at your home away from home: the bar or dance club. You’ve been keeping your eye on this hot little number three tables over and you notice she only orders one particular drink, giving you the perfect opportunity to purchase one and send it over. In turn, the door is opened to a “Hey, that’s your favorite drink, too?” sort of meeting. Birds of a feather! This could happen anywhere, at any time. Whether you’re out in the park jogging and you match her pace for a little while or you simply stop beside her to examine a store window on the sidewalk, relating to her without words can be a surprisingly straightforward process.
Prompt verbal contact with your eyes/actionsThis goes well beyond a simple look; you’re seeking to grab her attention with a specific action. For instance, say you’re in a department store looking through a rack of shirts. You notice a particularly appealing target within the same vicinity so you get a bit closer, select a shirt and hold it up. Catch her eye and shoot her an inquisitive look as if to say, “How’s this?” Or perhaps you find yourself in an elevator, stuck behind one particularly rude individual who believes the entire world wants to hear his personal cell phone conversation. A shared rolling of the eyes is often enough to spark light banter before you depart the elevator, and provided you’ve properly honed your speed-flirting skills, you’re golden. By the way, this tip comes fully equipped with an added perk, one you’ve probably already surmised: You can easily gauge her interest by her reaction. The situation is almost irrelevant; if you attempt to share common ground with only a look, the results in her eyes and facial reaction should be clear. Find out more ways to attract her without saying a word...
Attract Her Silently
By The PlayerPickup Specialist - Every other Tuesday
< < Previous
Opposites attract from a distanceHere you will present yourself as a polar opposite from afar. Now, it may sound bizarre and maybe even counterproductive, but when done properly, this technique works far better than you might expect. If your eyes have already crossed paths, you’ve probably sketched a rudimentary portrait of her personality based on her reaction (remember the previous hint?). Therefore, if she’s clearly the shy type and averts her eyes with a small smile, you come on strong from across the room with a big smile and direct eye contact. If she likes to play the role of the aggressor, you become the hard-to-get target and play it soft. Get it? The key to “talking with your eyes” centers on a person’s ability to blend facial expressions with eye movement. In other words, if she looks away with downcast eyes and a small grin, she’s playing shy and coy. If you keep a steady gaze and a larger smile, it’s obviously a more straightforward approach (just don’t stare like a nut). You could also implement an idea from the previous tip, which includes buying her a drink in a bar with the accompanying -- and appropriate -- look. In other situations, you might even be able to pick up her movie tickets for her while standing in line at the theatre -- a surprising and flattering move.
Offer to help in an appropriate situationIt’s the silent, yet gallant, approach that will open so many doors; in fact, you might start with that one: Simply open a door for a lovely lady. There are multiple opportunities to take advantage of the straightforward gentleman theory, and that includes helping a woman when she’s clearly loaded down with packages or bags, helping her pick up the purse she dropped (and the contents that spilled from it), etc. Don’t say a word; simply move to assist and you’ll immediately be in her good graces. Remember, though, we’re not advising you to create these opportunities. In the preceding example, for instance, don’t knock into her on purpose just for an excuse to help her retrieve the fallen items. Not only is it too transparent and even predictable, it’s also a little underhanded. For this tip, you simply need to be in the right place at the right time; don’t force the issue.
Dress to fit the occasionWhen you know where you’re going and you know what type of woman you’re seeking, you can gain the upper hand by dressing appropriately… and alluringly. Women pay very close attention to the way a man dresses -- any successful Player knows this -- and you can get a foot in the door by selecting the best possible attire. If you’re looking for a higher class of female at a particularly elegant club, you’re going to have to dress it up beyond what is required. Women dress to attract males, and contrary to popular belief, the door does swing both ways. Besides, it’s yet another opening for conversation and a chance for you to comment on her outfit, which very rarely fails to impress if done correctly.
Lure her with an outside “cuteness factor”If you’ve ever been to the park in search of a delectable target, you’ll know it’s best to go with a partner in crime… one who’s a great deal smaller. You may not have a baby or a dog close at hand, so if you don’t just borrow one for the day. Babysitting or pet-sitting -- it doesn’t matter because provided you head to the right locations, you’ll be in a prime position to hear a lot of “aww” and “isn’t he cute?!” comments. In one way, those compliments are indirectly aimed at you, as women instantly believe a man with either a child or pet is both sensitive and mature, capable of making (and upholding) important life decisions. Besides, without a woman holding your hand, they’ll also assume you’re a single parent -- or single pet owner -- and best of all, they will initiate contact. You just gotta play it up a bit by getting all mushy with your companion for the day. Sure, you may be risking some of those masculinity trophies you’ve acquired over the years, but it’s worth taking the chance.
actions speak louderEver wonder why there are so many jokes about bad pickup lines? It’s obviously because there are so many bad pickup lines. Despite the fact that much of human communication is done in a non-verbal capacity, saying the right thing to a woman remains pretty crucial. But you can remove some of the pressure simply by establishing an extraordinary positive rapport without even opening your mouth. The previous tips may sometimes rely on things you can’t control such as timing, the type of women in the vicinity and unique situational demands, but the foundation for each is solid. It’s not chivalrous to say you’re preying on a woman’s sensitivity, but it’s very honorable to say you’re simply speaking her language… without ever saying a single word. 7月5日
Get Back In The Game
By Gary JacksonRelationship Correspondent - Every other Monday
 So, you've dumped her. Or she's dumped you. Either way, once you find yourself single, thoughts soon come around to meeting other women. But getting back in the game, especially after a long-term relationship, can be daunting.
The first steps back in the world of dating should not to be taken lightly. You shouldn't attempt to bed new women to take revenge on your ex, whether it's to lure her back with jealousy or as a way to get over her. You should do it because you're a single guy and that's what single guys do.
It goes without saying that you have to be completely over your ex before you get back into the game. Women will immediately pick up on it if you're using them to distract yourself or numb the pain. Exactly how long it will take to reach this stage varies: Some will find themselves cruising around the local pickup spots the very next weekend, while others may find it takes months before they can even look at another woman.
No matter what, it's worth the wait because the single life rules.
Cheer up then gear up
Immediately after the breakup, you're going to be miserable. Somehow you'll be bringing every conversation around to her, you’ll find yourself planning how to get her back and generally lamenting the fact that everyone else is happy while you are in hell.
Approaching other women with all this going on is definitely a bad idea. Women can smell depression and desperation a mile off, and the scent is not appealing to them. You might think a one-night stand or even a new relationship is a good way to get over her, but the inevitable rejection will batter your confidence and make you feel 10 times worse.
Instead of dwelling on your ex and the relationship, remember the good side of being single: all those late nights with the boys, the freedom to do what you want when you want and, most importantly, with whom you want. When you stop thinking that there's something missing from your life and start to relish the idea of being single, then it's time to start bedding other women.
If you're honest, you’ll admit that there were times when you were with your ex that you envied those who were single. Well, start smiling again because now you're one of them...
Take a look around
It's time to celebrate. You've mourned the death of your relationship and now you need to toast the birth of the single you. What is called for is a one-night tour of everything you've been missing while you were in the relationship.
Gather your friends. After listening to your moaning, they'll be almost as eager as you are for a big night out. Explain that, in one night, you aim to seek out everything that you couldn't do before. Take in a bar crawl, drop a few bets on the dogs and enjoy a strip club or two.
How to meet women in bars and other places...
The point isn't to hook up with women. We've already noted that desperation is a major turnoff. The night is for the boys doing boy things. It marks you stepping out of the world of relationships and being welcomed back as one of the guys, making a gradual re-entry in the life of the carefree, single guy.
Of course, if you find that women are approaching you, don't turn them away. One of the major benefits of being single is the chance of an unexpected hookup. If you're happy being single, then the prospect of this increases greatly.
Change localesNow that you've been reintroduced to single life, don't stick to your old haunts. The new you deserves new territory.
There will be plenty of places, particularly bars, that your ex used to discourage you from going to; usually because that's where the hot, single women go to. Now you can stalk these hunting grounds with immunity.
Here you will be a fresh face, where no one knows the history of your failed relationship. The women there won't think of you as the ex of so-and-so, but as the new guy on the scene. These new locales are the perfect place to test out your new pickup skills.
Believe me: You'll need to learn new skills because the college-kegger tactics you last used won't work anymore. Check out The Player's Guide for detailed tips on how to make the most of single life.
Fill up your free timeChances are you'll find yourself with more free time on your hands. A relationship takes a lot of time, and it's hard (not to mention unhealthy) to plug that gap with nothing but new bars and flutters at the track.
But even this can be beneficial to the newly single man. Your ex did the cooking? Then take up a cooking class. Here, you’ll fill your immediate need of edible food, gain access to new women in a nontraditional hookup environment (where their defenses are down), and add “the home-cooked meal” to your dating repertoire.
Plenty of activities serve the dual purpose of filling spare time and getting you back in the game. Coed sports, the gym, art classes, and singles holidays are great starting ideas.
the new hit singleThe transition from being in a relationship to being single can be hard. But don't worry: It's all for the best. There are thousands of women out there just waiting to be bedded by you. So what are you waiting for?
What would your life be like if you knew -- beyond a shadow of a doubt -- how to make ANY woman feel a deep, gut-level attraction for you? Pretty awesome, no? But most guys are completely clueless in this area. They think the answer lies in “pickup lines” and pheromones. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you want to learn how to turn a woman on, you need to learn what it takes to spark ATTRACTION. Here are 10 tips to get you started on the path of women, women and more women.
Number 10
Become the high-status manThere are many logical reasons why women are attracted to high-status men, but the fact is that it’s TRUE and it’s not going to CHANGE anytime soon. If a woman perceives you as holding a higher status than her, you instantly qualify for the I’ll-consider-it group in her mind. If a woman perceives you as holding a LOWER status than her, she will instantly and unconsciously put you in the not-a-chance mental category. And if you communicate your status in just the right way, you can trigger a powerful and instantaneous attraction inside of a woman that will be impossible for her to ignore. She’ll FEEL IT. Luckily, this is something ANY guy can do.
Number 9
Communicate high status properlyThe great news is that you can communicate high status even if you’re not good-looking, rich or famous. The first thing you need to do is STOP communicating LOWER status. Men typically communicate lower status by justifying, defending or explaining themselves. By seeking approval and by allowing things to affect them emotionally these men are portraying themselves a weak and in the lower status department. Stop doing these things immediately. Resist the temptation to explain yourself, be the center of your own universe and keep your cool. If you do, you’ll make HUGE headway in becoming the high-status guy women can’t get enough of.
Number 8
Never communicate low status
The ultimate mistake you can make when it comes to status -- and the one guys make over and over again -- is trying to trade your status for her APPROVAL. I call this becoming a WUSSY just to get a woman to like you. This one single thing you may do and it will almost GUARANTEE that she will NEVER feel a gut-level attraction for you. It’s so obvious and so pervasive that it’s almost invisible. This is the ultimate mistake men make with women. Whatever you do, never communicate lower status to try to get a woman to like you. It never, ever works. Stop putting yourself down and let her chase you..
Number 7
Let her chase youWhen most guys meet an attractive woman, they think about things completely BACKWARD. They usually decide quickly that she is what they want, so they pursue which causes her to run away, which leads them wanting her more. BAD NEWS. Instead, try flipping this whole scenario on its head. The next time you meet a woman you’re hot for, instead of deciding SHE is what YOU want, take the perspective that YOU are the kind of guy SHE wants. Then when she starts to pursue you, run away. It’ll make her want you that much more. When you realize the steps that women use to attract us guys, you can use these same steps to attract THEM. Nice.
Number 6
Stop devaluing yourselfHumans have a hardwired system for assigning value in our heads. If something is easy to get, we don’t think it has much value, but when it’s hard to get we naturally assume it must be VERY valuable. If you want to DROP your value to zero instantly in a woman’s eyes, all you have to do is make yourself easy to get a hold of -- be readily available and obviously very interested. On the other hand, if you want to INCREASE your value in a big way, you need to do the opposite. Make yourself busy so you’re difficult to get a hold of, and when you do talk to a woman, make sure you get off the phone and go do something interesting and make sure you tell her about the activity right before you say, “Gotta go, bye!” Make sure you have all kinds of other options going on in your life so you CAN’T become too available.
Number 5
Tell her she’d make an interesting friendIf a woman uses the phrase, “He’s just a friend,” what she typically means is that the guy is interested in her but doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of having a romantic relationship with her. So turn the tables. If you are talking to a woman and you can tell she’s starting to feel for you, say to her: “You know, I think you’re going to make an interesting friend.” Women RARELY -- IF EVER -- hear this from a man. It will set you up as a challenge in her mind and cause her to be MORE LIKELY to want to be with you in a romantic way.
Number 4
Become friends with attractive womenIf you’re going out to meet women, is it better to be rolling with two horny guy friends or is it better to be rolling with two attractive female friends who love you? Exactly. Making friends, ACTUAL FRIENDS, with several attractive women is one of the best strategies for consistently meeting women without having to deal with any kind of anxiety over approaching women. When I say make friends with these women, I mean ACTUALLY make friends. It’s fine to flirt, tease and have fun with them, but they are going to be your friends so it’s best to keep your grubby mitts off of them. Keep these friendships intact and they’ll introduce you to TONS of available women. They’ll literally BRING THEM TO YOU. The top three ways to make her want you
Make her want you
Number 3
Show her that you’d make a great sexual partnerAnimals have certain traits (like the male peacock’s giant tail feathers) that signal to females who will make a healthy mate. These signals are difficult to fake (you either have the feathers or you don’t), so females rely on them heavily when deciding who to mate with. Female humans also look for these “honest signals,” and lucky for us they can be learned (unlike the feathers). Focus on developing these honest signals like dominant posture, slow gestures and movement, strong eye contact, indifference, and cocky comedy. When you master these signals, women will have NO CHOICE but to take notice of you.
Number 2
Learn to tell if a woman is single quicklyEver wonder if an attractive woman is single? If you develop the ability to be good at “reading” whether a woman is single or not, you’ll be able to behave with her right from the start in a confident, knowing way. And you’ll also stop taking it personally and getting hung up on women who seem cold to you because you’ll know WHY they seem occupied. To figure out if a woman is available or not start teasing her, if she continues to spar with you as you bust her balls, it’s usually a big signal that she’s available and open to you. Practice guessing if a woman is single or not until you can tell quickly and accurately. When you do, it will blow her mind that you knew her relationship status without her saying a word about it. She’ll see you as an insightful, intuitive guy -- precisely the kind of guy she’s attracted to.
Number 1
Create abundant choices for yourselfWhen you make a decision there’s a big difference between deciding whether or not to take the ONE option available, and trying to choose between an ABUNDANCE of options. Most guys have the mindset, “It’s either her, or nothing.” Most women have the mindset, “I can have any guy I want, so which one do I like best?” Take a moment and think about the subtle differences in your thinking, communicating and acting when you have MANY choices and you need to conserve your time, as opposed to having just one choice and having to figure out how to get it. Learn to think and behave as if you have all the choices in the world, then work on making that a REALITY by continually educating yourself on how to succeed with women and dating.
Techniques to make her chase youThis article is sponsored in part by DoubleYourDating.com (What's this?)
Most men naturally assume that it’s the MAN who must pursue the woman. But guys who are naturals at succeeding with women don’t buy into this belief -- and it’s a big part of why they’re always with the most attractive women. What would your life be like if instead of chasing women, women chased you? Here are 10 tips to shift the dynamic in your favor and get women tripping over themselves for a space on your social calendar.
Number 10
Use “reverse rapport”“Reverse rapport” is when you say and do the opposite of what a guy would do when he’s trying to make a woman like him… but in a sarcastic, overly serious way that assumes the woman already knows, likes and trusts you. The objective here is NOT to try to be sweet and wonderful and nice in order to win her approval. How do you do this? Well, one way is to use a sarcastic comment that’s the OPPOSITE of what a woman wants to hear. Or answer a question a woman asks you with an answer that’s the opposite of what she expects, all in a very sarcastic tone that implies you’re making fun of her. When you do, you’ll create a deep, polarity-charged connection with her that will get her pursuing you in no time flat.
Number 9
Read between the linesIf you’re talking to a woman on the phone and she tells you that she’s seeing someone, understand that she’s saying this more for herself than for you. She probably is casually dating another guy, but she’s feeling attracted to you, so she needs to say this to put on the brakes so she doesn’t feel “promiscuous.” If you find yourself in this situation, tell her something challenging like “Yeah, congratulations… and you know, that’s pretty assumptive thinking that I was trying to pursue you.” She won’t know what to say, and you will have communicated that you’re a confident guy who doesn’t need any woman -- just the kind of guy women LOVE. Don’t be surprised if she calls you back within a week, telling you she wants to get together and that she’s suddenly dumped the guy she was dating (for a chance to get to know you, of course).
Number 8
See beyond getting laid
When I first started learning how to succeed with women and dating, the idea of getting laid was a lot more interesting to me than it is now because I thought that if you could learn how to “get laid” then you’d naturally be able to have any other kind of success you wanted with women. Well, many of the guys I’ve met who are GREAT at “getting laid” don’t have any idea how to find a high-quality woman to have a great relationship with and when they do find one, they have no idea how to keep her around. I think it’s much more interesting and useful to learn how and why women become attracted to men, and why they STAY attracted. This way, you’ll be able to keep that fantastic woman in your life once you find her. There’s nothing wrong with “getting laid,” but it’s only a tiny piece of the puzzle, and it alone won’t lead you to happiness and success in life.
More tips to keep her interested
Number 7
Stop courting, start attracting
There are two basic models for how men approach meeting women: the courtship model, and the attraction model. If you base your approach with women on ATTRACTION, you get a very different response from COURTING them. When you court a woman, her natural response is to run, which makes you want her more and makes her run more. But when you attract a woman, her natural response is to chase YOU. This subtlety makes all the difference in the world.
Number 6
Be the dominant one
Courting is based on what you DO, what you OFFER, and what you GIVE… and is largely based on gifts, dinners, flowers, compliments, etc. Attraction is based on how you communicate, who you are and your masculine identity. Courting takes the “make friends” strategy and supersizes it; it’s about being as nice as possible in order to get her to like you. Attraction isn’t concerned with “liking” because a woman doesn’t need to like you in order to feel attracted to you. Courting is facing the challenge; attraction is BEING the challenge. Courting is about being a follower, submissive and weak; attraction is about being a leader, dominant and strong. Stop courting, start attracting, and you won’t BELIEVE how it can transform your success with women.
Number 5
Show her you get it
Women will act completely different around you and treat you very differently if you’re a guy who “gets it.” The way to show her you’re one of these rare guys is to see when she’s testing you and keep your cool. So if she mentions that other men are interested in her or she says she’s unavailable or she complains about something you do, realize it’s just a test. Then simply say, “Hey, stop that stuff,” and she’ll know what you mean. More importantly, she’ll know she’s dealing with a real man, and she’ll stop at no expense to chase you down.
Number 4
Stay on your own course
Most men orient themselves by following and seeking approval of the woman. She leads, they follow; in fact, she isn’t even leading, but the man tries to convince her to lead with questions and body language that seek approval. This is a horrible mistake, and annoys women to no end. Instead, stay on your course, even when she’s all over the map. Let her reorient her body, behavior, moods, and responses to YOURS. Don’t ever try to get her to lead. Show her you’re the kind of man who loves to be the captain of your own ship, and she’ll feel an undeniable attraction to you.
The top three ways to get her knocking at your door…
Number 3
Never backpedal or explain yourself
If you say or do something that seems to upset a woman, don’t try to explain your way out of it or do something to “make her feel better.” Don’t act like you screwed up or show her that you’re nervous just because she’s acting upset. Just move on as if nothing happened. Get right on to the next topic or story. If she stays on it, whines or complains, just say “Get over it, it was a joke, stop being a pain,” and then get on to the next topic again. If you try to backpedal or explain yourself or in any way hint that you think you’ve “screwed up,” you’re DEAD MEAT. If you say something and she doesn’t like it, that’s not YOUR problem. Women often complain to see if they can manipulate you with their emotions, and when you show you don’t fall for this, her respect and ATTRACTION for you will go through the roof.
Number 2
Hint that you’re normal
There are a lot of psycho, perverted and “mentally unstable” guys out there, so it’s important you communicate through your behavior that you’re NOT one of them. Tell a woman you’re busy, and get off the phone WITHOUT asking her to meet for a date. Make fun of dumb-ass behavior, and other guys who act like wussies. If she calls but doesn’t leave a message, accuse her of being a stalker, and tell her that normal people leave messages. Chase women out of your house; say “get out” over and over again if she’s kissing you. All of this gives her subtle signs that you’re not some freak who desperately wants to get in her pants. This will give her an irresistible craving to get to know you better because you’re so different from the typical needy guys she dates.
Number 1
Use her own games on her
We all know women love playing games. But when you turn the tables and play games on a woman, it shifts the power dynamic in your favor. One of my favorite games to play with women is “You’re a brat, and I’m fake exasperated.” That’s pretty self-explanatory. Some others are “Let’s see who can act the least interested,” and “I’m hard to get, and you love me.” Have fun playing these games with a woman and you’ll soon find that she won’t be able to get enough of your challenging, confident personality.
1月27日 
10 Things She Learns From Adult MoviesWomen's magazines slip us the kind of information that we
wouldn't find elsewhere; they reveal a female perspective that most men just
aren't privy to. How they read into our behavior, how they perceive our
actions, what their true expectations are... there's plenty to be learned from
a glimpse into the other side.
AskMen.com will be providing you with just this kind of gender intelligence --
without the embarrassment that comes with retrieving it from your girlfriend's
magazine rack. We'll be publishing a series of features from iVillage.com;
articles originally written by women for women, but with insight that's invaluable
to men. Of course, in exchange, we had to offer up some intelligence of our
own... all the more reason for you to get on the inside track as soon as you
can.
x-rated education
Think your girl is disgusted by porn? Think again.
iVillage.com lets AskMen.com readers in on a dirty little secret: Some women
find a certain appeal in the strong, confident female porn star. And since
every woman wants to be confident in the bedroom, here are 10 things your gal
pal can gain from observing your favorite X-rated actress.
porn star secrets
Whether you hate that your guy watches porn or opt to watch
it with him, you always wonder about one thing: the mystique of the porn star.
She's everything a good girl doesn't want to be -- except in the bedroom. Wish
you could mesmerize your man like his favorite video vixen? Brenda Della Casa,
author of Cinderella Was a Liar, has compiled a cheat sheet of porn
babes' best-kept secrets. Once you know what they know, you can try the tricks
at home -- no over-processed hair or camcorder required. Your man will be putty
in your hands, but the biggest payoff? You will end up more satisfied in
the process.
1- Show a little enthusiasm
Good-girl approach: Many of us have been taught that
sex is not a high priority, so when your guy wants to do the horizontal tango,
you make excuses or treat it like another chore on your to-do list.
Porn-babe secret: They enjoy what feels good without reservation -- and
they show their partners how excited they are by engaging them with their speech
and movements. They understand that diving into the sack with someone who isn't
into it is like sharing a "romantic" meal with someone who's watching
television.
Tantalizing tip: Take the initiative! Wake him up with a below-the-belt
kiss. Send him a naughty text message midway through the day. In bed, get into
the moment by looking into his eyes and telling him how eager you are to be
with him.
2- Speak up
Good-girl approach: Your sack sessions hardly leave
you invigorated, but you're scared that any attempt to spice things up will
make you seem like a tramp.
Porn-babe secret: Toss the dated worries -- liking sex doesn't make you
a hussy; it makes you human. Tell him how much you enjoy it when he kisses that
special spot or mention something you're craving in the heat of the moment.
Just asking for something new can be a huge turn-on for both partners.
She can learn to love her body and how to spice up dirty talk…
Tantalizing tip: Pop open a bottle of wine and
initiate a little game of truth-or-dare. Or surprise him with a spicy flick and
point out the scenes you'd be open to trying. There's a good chance he'd like
to experiment, too, but is keeping it to himself because he doesn't want to
offend you.
3- Love those thighs
Good-girl approach: You hate your hips, your backside
is less than baby-smooth, blah, blah, blah.
Porn-babe secret: They know that men love sex -- he's absolutely
thrilled when your thighs are wrapped around him, dimples and all. He would
never forgo what feels good to accommodate something as silly as a body
insecurity or two.
Tantalizing tip: Illuminate the bedroom, living room or even kitchen
with candles, which give a soft glow that glides over perceived imperfections.
Give him the visualization he craves and get off (pun intended) on the fact
that you are the reason for every moan and squirm your man makes.
4- Know thyself
Good-girl approach: You find masturbation
embarrassing or shameful, so you rarely try it (and never admit to it when you
do).
Porn-babe secret: Make like a seasoned porn babe and figure out what
works for you by caressing your thighs, breasts and everything in between. Not
knowing what feels good is like taking a cross-country road trip without a map.
Tantalizing tip: If you're like many gals and the manual approach leaves
you feeling less than thrilled, simply find something else to tickle your fancy.
After a few solo sessions, bring your man into the action for a steamy
one-on-one lesson.
5- Get a new bedtime script
Good-girl approach: Your pillow talk doesn't get much
racier than a few "oh, baby's” tossed in with a few "you feel so
good's."
Porn-babe secret: Men are competitive by nature, and they love to know
they are the best at whatever it is they're doing, including you. Porn babes
know that just hearing a female verbally tap into the action is enough to make
him explode.
Tantalizing tip: Get comfy with the saucy talk by writing down some sexy
thoughts and reading them out loud alone a few times. In bed, start small by
giving him a play-by-play of the action, telling him what he's doing to you or
asking questions such as, "Do you like it when I [insert verb here]
you?"
The importance of sexy underwear and learning to fantasize…
 6- Get a little uncomfortable
Good-girl approach: Your weekend look of sweats and
ponytails has become as fun as your weekly date with the treadmill. Sound
exciting? Yeah, we didn't think so.
Porn-babe secret: Men are visual creatures (that's why porn babes are in
business). These gals work this to their advantage and don sexy lingerie and
even (gulp!) keep their heels on during the deed, all to enhance the
experience.
Tantalizing tip: Slip on a thong underneath your yoga pants or meet him
at home in nothing but heels and a great hairdo. Surprising him with something
new will show him that he's worth the effort, which will spark his heart as
well as his, um, interest.
7- Come on, gals -- fantasize
Good-girl approach: You'd never admit to daydreaming
about being intimate with two men or kissing another woman, even if you do --
and the thought of your man having a sex dream about Heidi Klum in bed is
enough to bring you to tears.
Porn-babe secret: They do things most of us wouldn't, but the lesson is in
their approach, not in their actions. They don't judge the desires of their
partners or take offense at what turns them on. Just because your guy
fantasizes about a threesome doesn't mean he doesn't love you or even that he
would want to participate in one in real life. As long as the boundaries of
your relationship are maintained, fantasizing is a healthy aspect of sexuality.
Tantalizing tip: Try verbal exploration. Talk him through a threesome or
ask him to pretend he's a stranger. Sharing these kinds of experiences will not
only spark amazing sex, but it will also build trust and intimacy, which is
always sexy. Discuss boundaries beforehand (some couples have a code word to
signal the other to stop when acting out scenarios) and remember: Comfort is
key, so don't participate in anything that makes you uncomfortable.
8- Get creative with the merchandise
Good-girl approach: You have an idea of what works
for your guy, which is why you do it again and again and…
Porn-babe secret: They know their partner has dozens of hot buttons --
from his toes to the back of his neck -- and that half the fun is finding out
what works and what doesn't.
Get her to be like Jenna Jameson in the bedroom...
Tantalizing tip: Gently pinch or bite his nipples or
kiss his chest and stroke his stomach gently with your nails. When you go below
the belt, pay attention to all parts of the package by gently tracing his
scrotum with your tongue or pressing on his perineum (the area between his
penis and his anus).
9- Be a little selfish
Good-girl approach: You're tired and overworked, and
you haven't been to the gym in ages. You'd love to get your hair done and take
that spinning class, but you promised you'd run errands for your sister
(again).
Porn-babe secret: While good girls are taught to deprive themselves, porn
babes make self-maintenance a high priority.
Tantalizing tip: Whether it's a manicure, a blowout or just slathering
on a luxurious cream before bed, do something that makes you feel and look good
more than once a month. Feeling like you're worth the splurge will not only
boost your confidence, it will make you glow -- and that's hotter than any
bustier on the market.
10- Stop doing favors
Good-girl approach: You perform oral sex as a
"gift" for whatever special day or tell him that if he's good, you'll
let him try a new position.
Porn-babe secret: Sexual desire is not a male-specific attribute, nor is it
something that should be rationed. In fact, it's practically as essential to a
full life as food, water and shelter. Porn babes do things they know their
partner will enjoy, while asking for what they want in return.
Tantalizing tip: No one wants to feel like they are being manipulated or
treated like a charity case, so keep the bureaucracy out of the bedroom. Find
out what your partner likes, and as long as you are comfortable with it, give
it to him generously. The only "requirement" you should have is that
he reciprocate on the same level. His taking out the trash isn't a reason to
give him a bl*w job -- your turning him on is.
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